17/06/02 - 28/06/02 Cairns -> Hervey Bay

G'day Bruce's and Shelia's... well there's been a fair bit of road covered
over the past week or so.. sometimes eventful.. sometimes not...read on and
give charitable laughs where they are due...

17/06/02 - The day after
Well.. what a night.. it had it all..almost.. we could have and should have
won. Spain were good at breaking us down for an hour but for the last hour
it was all Ireland. I brought 'big and' along for the last match. Both of us
were deflated afterwards. The result got me.. a cigarette got 'big and'.
Poor Bloke !! Made a solem promise never to eat a spanish onion again..
Kelly was happy!
As we had been ripped off at every waterfall we'd been to in Asia we decided
to take Berti to the Tablelands, which lye to the west of Cairns. The
pictures and reports looked and sounded great and we were due a decent one.
There's a 23km circle of waterfalls you can drive to and im glad to say they
were all great.
THe first one we reached was too inviting not to get in.. so i did.
Swam across the river and over to the falls, climbed up underneath it and it
and sat on the rocks looking up at the water spilling overhead. What a sight
!!
I would have sat there for a good while longer but as i was waving to the
camera i spotted something stuck to my hand. A leech!! I jumped straight
back in and swam. Visions of "stand by me" came to mind. it wasn't the leech
on the hand that worried me, it was the others that i couldn't see that did.
Quick check for my own leech and all was well.. decided not to get back in
though! For family reasons.

Spent the latter part of the evening in the medical centre with Kelly's
swollen ankle( and Kelly also), courtesy of a reaction to mozzie bites. I
was getting away with the bites... couldn't work out why.
Joined by a scotish couple in the medi-centre i think we had more belly
laughs since i can remember. It was great and it didn't even get a mention
by the tourist board. We're tempted to start hanging around medi-centres all
the way down the coast !!

18/06/02
It was time to leave cairns today ... 3 weeks was ling enough and not that
ireland are out we have no excuse to hang around for the world cup
atmosphere.
Discovered a number of things on the way to Townsville
#1 is that mozzies dont like vitamin B in the bloodstream and thats how im
getting away with the bites. Kelly wont take the tablets because she doesn't
like the smell of them.. neither do the mozzies !!

#2 dont stop to look for crocodiles!!.. because you wont see any and when
you get back in your car you may find that your tyres are warped because you
parked on an uneven surface.#3.. dont park on an uneven surface.
One of the tyres heated up so much that it took the shape of the grass when
it cooled. Took a while to work out why Berti was rattling at 20kmph.

Got to townsville ... took an instant dislike but had to stay till tomorrow
to get post and also some rest.

19/06/02
Not all post arrived.. had to wait another day.

20/06/02
Still not all here.. can do without it. Outta here and on to Airlie Beach.

21/06/02 - 24/06/02
Airlie Beach ..aptly named by the Aussies because there isn't a beach in
site. The name may mislead you but the place itself doesn't. There is a man
made lagoon which you can swim in 24hrs a day and everyone hangs around
here. Everyone that is including Canadians. I hadn't formed a hate for them
until here, but now it's firmly planted... and the reason.. they're a bunch
of toss*rs.
They have an inherent need to be heard and when there's a 'herd' of them
it's like a competition and believe me there are no winners here.. only
losers !! " Woo ! Yeah ! i just got a mail from my mother... high five me
bro"... "Woo ! Yeah ! I just replied..."
There should be a warning sign of a species that forgot to evolve ahead, you
know like " wiggers may occupy next town"

Moving away from the bad points and on to the Whitsundays which are just a
(very long) stones throw away. Tropical Islands, sand like snow and the
Barrier reef.
Jumped on a one day tour of the Islands which included snorkling around the
reef. For someone who was afraid of fish when getting into the water, i
couldn't get Kelly out of it. She ended up actually chasing the fish around
and shouting at them under water. I had to get out because the water was so
cold, and there i sat watching kelly circle the reef like an indian about to
feast.
After this it was on to Whitehaven beach which is meant to be the 5th best
beach in the world. It's hard to see how there are 4 better but i would like
to see them. The whitest sand and the bluest sea.. but is it better than
silver strand i ask ???
I think we would have still been at Airlie Beach today but we got up to go
on a drive on the 24th and forgot to come back. Stopped off at another
waterfall and just kept on going after that in search of another town like
Airlie.

24/06/02 - 28/06/02 Mackay -> Rockhampton -> Gladstone -> Town of 1770 ->
Agnes Water -> Bundaberg -> Childers -> Hervey Bay

All the above mentioned towns were passed at the speed of light. There was
nothing of interest to make is want to stop and so this may not keep the
reader awake... sorry about that !!
There's a good bit of coast covered here ( if you want to check out that
map). There were some Kangaroo's, Wallabies, Kooala Bears, Emu's along the
way and... we didn't see any of them. Except for the roo's of course, they
were both dead and alive at the side of the road.

And so here we are at Hervey Bay, stepping stone to Frazer Island. Reported
as the hightlight of the Oz trip by everyone we've met so much to look
forward to.
Last night the locals provided the entertainment. Mullets everywhere without
a licence. Inbreeds sitting in one corner, jiving OAP's with nice ricket
legs in another, beside is were two arguing hillbillies. Man and Woman. The
man was a real pyscho looking freak and was pulling the maddest angry faces.
I was sure he was going to pull out a gun and shoot her or something. You
can tell that he gives her 'love' every night though, as thats what he has
tatooed on his knuckles.

And so for tomorrow..the trip to frazer Island

Cairns, Port Douglas, Cape tribluation, Port Doulgas... (31/05/02- 14/06/02)

don't be put off by the dates covering two weeks.. hopefully it wont be too
long or boring.. I do try !!

31/05/02 World Cup Day..

We've been trying to sort out the best way of traveling. 3 options... buy a
car, rent a car , Bus..
Renting a car is dead money plus id we get someone that crashes in to us we
have to fork out the money. The plus point though is reliabilty.
Buying a car means we can sell on again and possibly break even or even
better but there is no guaranteed reliability or any breakdown cover... THe
bus.. well that just smells...
Anyway onward with the world cup. And we all know the result of the opening
game. what a shocker. Pele said that Senegal were one of the weaker sides in
the world cup!!..but to be honest i've lost all respect for that man after
seeing him appear in a...eh... a construction advert. He's the ambassador
for male ' errectional problems' in Australia.. I swear. Good ol Pele
looking after mens well being.

01/06/02
Well the day arrived and the nerves kicked in. Myself and Kelly dressed like
twins in the Jersey's.(I was the one with the inflatable hand) THere are
certain advantages to having a big hand. You can hale Taxi's, barmen and
friends from a far. And when Ireland score everyone wants to be your mate
and give you high fives. What a day!! Im now known locall as 'big and'. How
hard was it to come up with that name.

02/06/02
Itchy feet are taking over again so it;s time to start looking for a car.
Made a quick phone call to a lad that was selling a van with all mod cons.
Looked promising, but as he was on his way up to us someone else rang him
and bought it there and then. Not to worry... it wasn't meant to be. Anyway
we like the long long walks down town. It's quite scenic, mountains, birds,
abbo's drinking in the park and females boxing the heads off each other..
makes a lasting impression on you. Also explains how they might have lost
their land so easily.

03/06/02 - 13/06/02 Cairns... Port Douglas

Well the past days i've just not had the will to pick up the diary and write
in it. Day by day there's not alot happening but collectively i think i can
manage to say a few words.
The short of it is that we now have moved accomodation, nearer to cairns
central. You get free internet, meals and the walk in is quicker..what
else...nice pool...
THe day before the Ireland / Germany game we decided to to just go for a
look at some cars and ended up coming home with a van. THat's what you call
impulse buying. It's got all the camping gear and loads of room for a new
set of golf clubs and surf board. There's even a seat for Kelly which is a
bonus.
The van has already been christened Berti by the previous owners and as they
had to sell Berti ASAP, we got him for $1,000 off the original asking
price..result!! So we are now equiped to travel.
The Germany game was a tense tense ocassion and the only way i could let off
steam was to slag every move the Germans made aloud. This didn't go down
well with the Getmans behind me but to be honest i didn't care... i was
feeling invincible before the game even started. I forgot to bring 'big and'
with me so i was able to blend in with the crowd.
Like all the greats i timed my run ( to the bar) with perfection.. while i
was getting the round in and out of sight from the krouts i was winding up
ze germans scored!! Knowing that they were probable looking for me to jeer i
was quite happy to take my time.. and when i got back my thoughts were
confirmed by Kelly, who had told me that one of zem woz squeming weally
loudly in our direction... mental note taken!!
Along came the equaliser and it was time to turn around and tell ze germans
exactly whaat they could go and do with zemselves. Fingers point in all
directions.. Kelly trying to stop me ..not a chance!! "Take that ze
germans"... of course they responded in typical Germans fashion by wanting
to shake my hand ?!?!? This made me feel bad..... for all of two mins and
then i decided that they deserved more abuse.. but they had gone.. probably
just as well !!
The England games are enjoyable too and ( here comes an 'i told you so') as
i predicted Yousef, they did beat the Argies.. The funniest thing about the
England games is that you watch grown men screaming for seamen at the
telly.. i think they should take down Pele's number and give him a call.

THe next thing i should mention is that i am a certified PADI diver. To
those of you who know how hard it is to get this qualification im sure that
you are all not impressed....but i have a mother back home who is probably
expecting another photo with me wearing a sash and holding a scroll in the
hand!!... dont mind them Mam i am marvelous. Two days training followed by
and exam, then two days out on the Great Barrier reef. The trip out to the
reef was the worst that i've ever experienced..faces turing white quicker
than the blink of an eye.
Kelly went into the toilet ( to use it of course) and came out looking like
she had dipped her head in a bucket of paint... after this she proceeded to
do the best impression of Captin Kurk ever seen. Anyone else who stood up
tried to do the same but Kelly's performance was the best...over to the
left....and to the right....
It looked like she was having fun, but the sick bag in the hand did take
away from the performance. I have to admit that i wasn't far off having and
exhale accompanied...but i managed. For the next two days the onlt time i
felt well was when i was in the water.. chasing Giant Turtles and sting
rays..looking out for reef sharks and swimming well clear of nest proud
parrot fish.

Got the cert and made it home in time for the Ireland/ Saudi game.. happy
days...
( Diggers...what was that i said about Ian Harte !?!... nuff said i think)

Anyway this more the 13th Myself and Kelly and Berti took a spin up towards
Port Douglas.. passing at least 3/4 class golf courses on the way.. it was
torture. I haven't played in over 2 months now. Im seriously giving thought
to getting rid of the spare wheel and attaching a spare golfer.
Port Douglas is a nice seaside resort and a stop off on the way to CApe
Tribulation, which is where the rainforest meets the reef.. sounds great to
me., We have booked into what can only be described as camp krusty... full
of old farts.. Germans old farts.. not the way i pictured it

14/06/02 Port Douglas - Cape TRib - Port Douglas again

Well today the new enemy rared it;s head. Australia had been sleeping since
we got here but now its awake...big time..
Last night we spent the first night in Berti, with the moon roof open. We
had to close it though because the tree above kept shedding its leaves..or
so we thought. On closer inspection it was the large fruit bats that were
actually knocking the leaves down. didn't want a sleeping bats druling on us
either.
So today we got up and headed for the cape. Stopped on the way at mossmans
george where you can walk throught the rainforest and/or go for a swim in
the river. It's the kind of place that Huckleberry fin would be happy
in...yeah...anyway... Walking through the forest a couple of signs read that
if you are very lucky you will sea the rainforest dragon... and we did. I
thought he was an ugly little bast**d but Kelly thought he was cute...says a
lot for me dont you think.
Onward we go...caught the ferry across the Daintree river where swimming is
not recommended because the river is inhabited by croc's. Point taken...
didn't sea any on the way over but on the way back we did.
CApe Tribulation ..where the rainforest meets the reef....and where Kelly
meets the spiders !!

We were out of there quicker than you could say ' look theres another one'
I thought Penang was bad for Rats( well...it was) but this place was like
Raiders of the lost arc... Spiders the size of you hand tenfold to every
bungalow.... just sitting there.
Aparently these boys are harmless because ( wait and you hear this) they
just jump at you and can bite you !!!!!
So what do the harmful ones do ???? sit there and call you names ??
I didn't want to hang around myself.. they were playing John cougar
Melencamp on the radio for gods sake !! how scary is that.
We even had our excuse ready for the ferry man that we forgot something and
it was straight back to port Douglas.
Found a really cool campsite with young able bodied english speaking
people....
What a 24 hrs... Bats, Croc's Dragons, Giant spiders...and John Cougar
Melencamp.
________________

Well it's now nearly time for the Ireland Game folks... we're back in Cairns
again and just about to go out on the...out for a drink...

If the gods are good we shall go into the quater finals... dont know the
team yet but for god sakes dont play harte MICK !!!

GAv.